Think back to a moment of joy, fulfillment, or accomplishment. What was sweet or special about this experience? Often, these moments are compellingly simple. A singular feeling or impression. A focused moment. A spare but amazing outcome. The 26th mile of the marathon. The connection you feel after a presentation. The beauty of a well-constructed paragraph. A contented smile.
The paradox of abundance is that quantity can, and often does, get in the way of quality.
- Too many things - to have, to enjoy, to maintain, to attend to.
- Too many options - to weigh, to get invested in, to care about.
- More than we need.
As we shape our careers and lives, making decisions that enhance our success and happiness will call upon us to peel and strip away the clutter, chatter, and excesses that are getting in our ways. Do we have the courage to do this? It takes courage because we have been socialized to equate acquisition with success. Bigger is better, more is more.
But our life experiences likely prove that this is not the case and that more often leads to much less.
Am I saying that we should not aspired to be CEOs? Not at all. If you are passionate about leading an enterprise, you should do what you need to do to get there. THERE, however, is not reached by idolizing perks, over-mortgaging big houses, coveting fancy titles, and or defining our successes by the number of zeros on our paychecks. If you want to be a leader (better - ache to be a leader), what is the simplest, most fulfilling path you can follow to lead more?
The key words in the above paragraph are 'if you are passionate about.' If we do not move our careers and lives in the direction of our callings, we will find it difficult to be happy. When we don't cultivate our interests, our definition of success gets splintered, scattered, and overly influenced by others and then we look for more, buy more, and gunk up our lives with piles of diversions.
Is the paradox of abundance operating in the background of your life? I have been thinking about this a lot lately and know it is so for me. We all have the opportunity to better define how we will live consistently with our goals (not the goals we adopt because we feel we should, but the goals that come from our passions - the work, the actions, the contributions that feed and fuel us and that we are driven to do).
I will be writing more about this in the coming weeks, but I have decided to look for guidance (for myself and for the individuals and organizations I work with) by examining the overlap of several important books/works about happiness. Check out these sets of words associated with well-know books/theories:
Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikczentmihalyi
- Clear goals.
- Higher level of concentration.
- No/low self-consciousness.
- Loose track of time and needs.
- Direct and immediate feedback.
- Good match of ability and challenge.
- Sense of personal control.
- Intrinsically rewarding.
- Being absorbed in the activity.
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Dr. Martin Seligman
- Positive emotions.
- Engagement.
- Relatedness.
- Meaning.
- Accomplishment.
The concept of a fully functioning person from, On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers
- Openness.
- Living each moment fully.
- Feeling trust in others.
- Freedom of choice.
- Ability to create.
- Feeling of reliability and constructiveness.
- Excitement.
Indices used to measure Gross National Happiness in Bhutan
- The recognition and presence of Karma.
- Spirituality.
- Equity.
- Freedom of speech and opinion.
- Trust in government and media.
- Balance of work hours and leisure and sleep hours.
- Reciprocity.
- Living core beliefs.
- Teaching others.
- Neighbors helping each other.
- Belonging.
- Labor exchange and equity.
- Volunteerism/contribution.
- Lack of feelings of selfishness, jealousy, frustration.
- Vibrancy of the physical environment.
Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt
- Getting the conditions in your life right.
- Getting the environment in which you live right.
- Quality relationships.
- Goals that energize us.
- Doing good.
- Not judging others.
- A special love.
- Reciprocity.
Do you see the potential areas where these ideas intersect? I do and I am going to continue to explore this in the context of how we can build better lives and how leaders can build organizations that generate happiness in the workplace and produce better business outcomes. What would a model of leadership look like? What would a talent management system grounded in happiness research look like?
What's clear to me is that getting the fundamentals of life right will make the greatest difference in terms of success and happiness. The paradox of abundance is a sobering reality we should all consider confronting - what do we need to be happy? What if our lives are currently out of whack - how can we get to a better place from here?
One of the striking things that comes up again and again in happiness research is the importance and power of living in the present and making honest progress. So it is never too late to redefine how we want to live as long as we get to it in small daily ways.
I saw a preview for a new documentary film that delves into this idea of the paradox of abundance. It has not reached Cincinnati yet but I plan on seeing it when it does. It is called I am.
